Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I know! Let's Bring a TANK!

Since I've given up on my "Dreaming in Emotion" blog, here's my latest crazy dream:

I was at a science fiction con, and some guy just strolled into my room.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

He peered at me over his glasses and smiled. "Don't you recognize me?" Well, no, I didn't, but I don't recognize people who recognize me all the time, so I just smiled and let it go. So he just went and made himself comfortable in the next room and went to bed.

I looked at my buddy. "Who is that?!?" I asked.

"Beats me." Hmm... I think I've been had.

I walked out to see him, and he was all curled up in a bed. "I don't really know you, do I," I asserted.


"Okay, you need to leave."


"No, seriously, this isn't cool. Get out or I'm calling the cops."


I picked up the phone and made a big production of actually calling the police, to the intruder's complete indifference.

And soon enough, someone did show up, but it wasn't the police... it was the Army. Soldiers came rushing in through the door, with a giant tank making its way through the room and out onto the balcony. Luckily, it was a great big balcony on the roof, with stairs leading down to a giant landing with a swimming pool. Although the balcony doors were wide enough for the tank, the stairs were only the width of a person, so the tank got stuck.

And all the while, the intruder was still sleeping blissfully away, indifferent to the madness around him. Unfortunately, the madness was also indifferent to him, as none of the soldiers ever thought to look in the bed, and now they were all scurrying around trying to figure out what to do about the tank.

Well, that did it. I had had my fill and finally lost my temper, and started stomping on the landing and shouting at the soldiers in a perfect Lewis Black rant. "What a genius idea, bringing a tank up to the thirtieth floor! 'Hey, we've gotta go catch one guy on the top floor of a building! What should we bring?!? Oh, I know! Let's bring a TANK!!!"

The next person to knock at the door was a guy who looked a lot like the intruder. Turns out he was here to meet up with the first guy, so the intruder just casually got out of bed and strolled out, leaving the mess of the Army behind him. Soon the Army themselves moved on, leaving the tank wedged on the stairs with a green wide-headed antennaed alien slumped up unconscious against the tank.

Then Frank showed up wearing a Greatest American Hero neck tie. The dream got a little bizarre after that, so I'll stop there.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I Got Your Class Warfare Right Here [Updated]

Before you read my ranting, it might help if you watch these videos. They only take about 11:20 total, not counting the 30 second Kashi commercial you have to sit through before each one, which makes for a total of 12:20, which is almost a quarter of an hour which now that I think about it is rather a long time so on second thought never mind.

And if you can keep up with that line of catastrophising thinking, you'll see the state my mind is in right now for the real topic.

I still want to believe in the human race. I want to believe that deep down, in their hearts, people understand that other people are people too, and not just a commodity to be bought and sold, to be used up and thrown away.

But I'm losing that faith. It dies a little more with every headline I see, every news article I read, every "news" story I watch.

I used to feel that slavery was something in the past, something we knew had been a horrible mistake on the part of the human race, a lesson painfully learned that we would never make again. But no, oh no no. We've just learned to play around the rules, to find new ways of making sure that there will forever be a Ruling Class and a Serving Class. Masters and slaves by new names.

"Demonizing the rich?" Are you kidding me? The only ones demonizing the rich are the rich's defenders. The more they protest the more obvious the greed becomes. Neil Cavuto says at the 1:37 mark in the first video that Warren Buffett needs to "stop assuming the rich are all billionaires." Oh, those poor poor millionaires who may never see their first billion! Why are they being persecuted? No, instead Cavuto says "before you start demanding that one group pay more, maybe get everyone [the poor] to put skin in the game." (Second video, 2:17.) Yes, that's it, those damn freeloading poor people, clinging greedily to their lower 2.5% of the nation's wealth. How dare they.

It's not enough that the rich and the politicians have been destroying the middle class. No, now that the end of the middle class is in sight, it's time to turn our sites on the poor.

Who can we count on to watch out for us? Not the politicians. They make more money than we'll ever see, so they're part of the rich as well. Their only job is to protect their jobs, and they do it well. The human decency of those running the corporations? Don't make me laugh. With the phasing out of unions (and corruption of some of the unions that are left) they've learned the best way to save money is to get rid of the workers they've had the longest who are at the top of the pay scale and replace them with someone at minimum wage. "Get me another monkey for the press," as a boss of mine once said.

Fox News will have us believe that Warren Buffett is enacting Class Warfare. They need to shut the frak up before they give the poor ideas. Because thanks to the NRA, the one thing the poor do have left is their guns, and thanks to the right keeping them uneducated they may not realize that a "class war" doesn't involve shooting.  And really, what good would it do them? Let's say the Lower Class does rise up into an all-out rebellion against the rich (which will never, ever happen, because they're too busy watching Jersey Shore). Then the politicians would have to start sending in the military to deal with these Poverty Terrorists, which would undoubtedly lead to less civil rights and a stronger wall being built between the rich and the poor. Maybe even a literal wall. And then there we are, with the elite living in luxury and safety inside their castle while the rest of us live in tents in the wastelands outside watching our government-provided televisions with no off buttons, until one day a group decides to gather up 4400 people from various points in human history, augment them with special powers and then drop them all back in time to try and prevent what happened, but of course the rich won't want that to happen so they'll try to sabotage it...

...Maybe I should just get my meds checked.

UPDATED: I got together with two friends of mine after I wrote this, and they helped talk me off of the ledge. One of them pointed out to me that I was being prejudiced towards all rich people, forgetting even Warren Buffett. And he was right, I was letting generalizations fuel my paranoia. He also helped me put things in perspective. We have a friend who is considering joining the Marines (I'll call her Betty). When I started saying that the military was going to round up all the poor people and put us all in labor camps, my friend said "Good, then maybe Betty won't get sent to Afghanistan, she'll just have to shoot hobos." The absurdity of which made us all laugh, and gave me a serious reality check. I considered pulling the post, but I've decided to let it stand as an experiment in creative writing. So don't take it too seriously, and I'll try not to either.