tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10117456852337773502024-02-19T06:04:02.174-05:00They Have Too Many Thoughts for a Kid Their Age...Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-20144983161676146332022-10-17T18:19:00.002-04:002022-10-17T18:22:18.104-04:00My Paxil Withdrawl, Epilogue<p>Someone who read one of my reviews on my old It's Called Entertainment blog tracked me down on Twitter, linking to the review I had done, which then led me down a rabbit hole of scrolling through all my old blog posts again. And going over the personal blog (this one), I felt like it was left unfinished.The twists and turns my life took immediately after my last blog post so drastically changed my entire life, to the extent that it felt like watching the first act of a play that then just <i>stopped</i>. Trying to completely chronicle the other two acts could fill an entire book or two, so instead this is my PS, like that little scene at the end of a movie that tells you what all the characters went on to do after the events of the movie ended.</p><p> That fifth-to-last paragraph on Part 3? That was the start of something truly terrible. I spiraled into what was possibly the second-worst depression spell of my entire life. By the time my post-Paxil follow-up came around in January, I was completely unable to function at anything. So my doctor tried putting me on Desipramine.</p><p>It took me six weeks to level out and become a functional human being again. And in that sixth week, my mother-in-law fell and broke her hip, and getting it looked at lead us to discover she had pancreatic cancer.</p><p>For the next 14 months, my wife and I took care of her at home until she passed away. So of course I was depressed the entire time, who wouldn't be? So we assumed it was situational. It wasn't until a year later at another evaluation when I was told that my medication wasn't working and I should look into getting it changed immediately. Apparently saying "Well yeah, I have a suicide plan in place, but no, I don't intend to actually use it" isn't as typical as I had assumed it was.</p><p>Two very big things happened within the next month: First, my meds were changed and I was put on Wellbutrin. And second, my egg cracked. Which means I realized that I'm transgender and there was no way I could continue trying to live as man, not even as a very feminine one like I had been doing for the previous 22 years. You can read all about in my upcoming book, <i>Wellbutrin Turned Me Trans</i>. (I'm only half-kidding about that.)<br /></p><p> I started transitioning and have now been living as Christa Feroniya for four years. I was intensely happy for most of that time, and I'm still happier in general even though my mental health has been more of a struggle for the past couple months.<br /><br />But that's also why I changed the name of the blog. The original title is a quote from the movie 1989 Parents, so now it needed to be tweaked. But I don't really blog anymore anyway. Thank you to all of you who read it.<br /></p><p> </p>Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-38842757371399233942016-07-08T11:56:00.001-04:002016-07-08T11:56:21.777-04:00My Reactions to the Announcement About Sulu in Star Trek Beyond<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYIN4osyzyP1oAz4Qaf4vY5fIKrynL39-HlyDm8eH6CiL6ahKcTX7MA05UHvYHD_XLtIXFD2JGbuo1dZXIxmBWiwycayGDXm7HxRq5f4ONKAxsQz5yI4kyrkM6ou24gjDu2GIx-J_YUxDO/s1600/ST+Beyond+Sulu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYIN4osyzyP1oAz4Qaf4vY5fIKrynL39-HlyDm8eH6CiL6ahKcTX7MA05UHvYHD_XLtIXFD2JGbuo1dZXIxmBWiwycayGDXm7HxRq5f4ONKAxsQz5yI4kyrkM6ou24gjDu2GIx-J_YUxDO/s400/ST+Beyond+Sulu.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
My thoughts on hearing the announcement that Sulu will be revealed to
be gay in Star Trek Beyond, in the order that they occurred:<br />
<br />
1) I wish I had seen that in the movie first. That would have been a nice moment and heartwarming revelation. Oh well.<br />
<br />
2)
Well it's about damn time. Star Trek, pushing the boundaries of
inclusion and boldly going where Babylon 5, Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, Stargate, Arrow, Legends of Tomorrow,
and Archie Comics have gone before. And maybe some others I can't
remember, since having an LGBT character has become so commonplace I
don't even think about it when it happens any more.<br />
<br />
3)
Why Sulu? Do they not realize that just because George Takei is gay that
doesn't mean that Sulu was? Ohhh, they did it as a tribute for all
George has done for the LGBT community! Okay, that's pretty cool.<br />
<br />
4)
Wait, Uncle George is unhappy about it? Why? ...Oh, because he'd rather
it had been a new character. Yeah, that was my first choice too, I get
where he's coming from. (Although I do disagree with him about it being a
change to the way Gene created the character, because this is Kelvin
Timeline Sulu, an alternate universe version. Roddenberry's version of
Sulu remains unchanged.)<br />
<br />
5) Oh wait, Simon Pegg pointed
out that making a new character gay would have been tokeninsm, and this
way it's just revealing something about a character that's already been
accepted. That is an <i>amazing </i>point. Go, Simon! Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-36773244485775657532016-01-01T14:25:00.002-05:002016-01-01T15:11:03.552-05:00My Paxil Withdrawal, Part 3: The Side-EffectsSo due to a mix-up, as of December 16th I've been off of Paxil for three days. My bad flashbacks have decreased, my brain fog has cleared, and I'm feeling good. I did notice a bit of a heart flutter later in the day.<br />
<br />
December 17th brings a lot more heart flutters. And a couple of dizzy spells. Now I normally have dizzy spells, especially over the last year when I started taking various medicines for my diabetes and its related side effects. (Lipitor for cholesterol and Lisinopril for my blood pressure, since I now eat a lot more meats, I guess.) I have to be careful bending over and standing up too quickly, that kind of thing. But this was different. This was a great big "WOAH, what muscle-man just gave the merry-go-round a spin?!?" dizzy spell.<br />
<br />
December 18th the heart flutter only happened once but the dizzy spells increased.<br />
<br />
On December 19th the dizzyness didn't go away. At all. For ten days.<br />
<br />
It was just a constant state of vertigo, where every moment felt like I was standing on the deck of a wobbly ship, and just moving my eyes from one spot to another was enough to make the world spin. I couldn't function. I couldn't focus, I couldn't clean, I couldn't drive. I would spend a few hours trying to get the smallest things done, or giving up and just trying to watch TV or veg out on the internet, and then after a few hours I couldn't take it anymore and would have to take a nap. The nap would usually help me reset and be able to cope again for a short while, but within a few hours I couldn't take it anymore and was back to bed. And since I was napping all day there was no getting a full six hours sleep at any one time; for the first solid week it was just a constant cycle of up for few hours then sleeping for a few hours around the clock.<br />
<br />
December 26 was the first day I made it through without having to go lie down again. Things were still a roller coaster for the next few days, but on December 30th I had my first identifiable moment without any dizziness. And there's been less and less of it over the last few says since then.<br />
<br />
Joy says she's seen a huge improvement in my mood during this time, though. She says I've started singing around the house again. I've started working on projects (assembling a plan on how I'd like to celebrate Star Trek's 50th Anniversary, for example) and devoting some real mental energy to them again. I've started writing again, first in posts and wow, look at this, I'm even on the third part of a blog! It's been work to stretch the old grey matter again, but the very fact that I <i>can</i> is a huge step forward.<br />
<br />
Emotionally I've been very <i>verklempt. </i>I can't tell you how many times over Christmas I quickly became choked up and was trying not to burst out in tears of happiness. Or how many times I couldn't keep it in and started crying over my frustration at the constant dizzyness. And those flashbacks, some bad but now also some good, all making me choke up with each emotional extreme. (But at least they've been at a much more normal rate of three to four a day as opposed to five or six an hour.)<br />
<br />
December 28th brought me into a new wave of emotional side-effects. I've been angry again. The slightest thing has been setting me off. I'm getting moodier and moodier. I've been losing interest in everything; I don't care about those projects I started last week anymore, I've abandoned the TV shows I was watching halfway through an episode, I've even abandoned my Doctor Who audio dramas halfway through the last episode I was listening to, and I haven't seen any point in coming back to either of them. I've been pushing myself to try and get people what they need for the household chores, but mostly I've just been apologizing to everyone because it's not done and it's not going to be done by the time you need it, sorry. I used to have an attitude of "Well, this will at least make me feel better for the moment," but that's been nowhere to be found lately. And when I know that nothing is going to me feel any better or any less angry or miserable (let alone happy), then what's the point in it? When nothing is worth it then everything becomes meaningless.<br />
<br />
So yeah, that's sucked.<br />
<br />
Last night was our annual New Year's Eve party, which also doubles as celebrating Christmas among my group of friends. Normally it's held at our house, but this year Rich has gotten engaged to Lisa, a truly awesome lady who offered to hold it at her house. And thank the gods she did, because there was absolutely no way I was getting my house party ready this time. And I've been so volatile and fragile that I was truly afraid I would go in there and blow up over something stupid and petty like chopped peanuts vs whole peanuts or something and alienate everyone, or I'd start bawling uncontrollably and ruin the night for everyone. But none of that happened. What did happen is I got to spend some time with some great people who gave me the gift of some much needed laughter, remind me that I'm part of a group that has bonded over the last two decades, and I've come out of it feeling stronger. <br />
<br />
Joy has been by my side this whole time, reminding me that what I'm feeling is just my body's way of throwing a temper tantrum and wanting the Paxil back, and reassuring me over and over again that this <i>will </i>end, even when I don't believe it. Today I feel rested, recharged, optimistic, and ready to get back to living again.<br />
<br />
And still a little <i>verklempt</i>. But that's not so bad. ;)Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-13862512408294586842016-01-01T13:10:00.001-05:002016-01-02T00:38:52.861-05:00My Paxil Withdrawal, Part 2: Messing with the MedsSo my psychiatrist felt that the best thing to help get my bad flashbacks under control (and thus hopefully also resolve my ever increasing memory and comprehension issues) was to add on Abilify to work with the Paxil I was already taking. She prescribed it on Wednesday, December 2nd. She wanted to see me again in two weeks to see how it was doing.<br />
<br />
I went to my pharmacy to pick it up a few hours later, and was told it needed to receive an extra approval from the insurance company.<br />
<br />
On Thursday December 3rd the pharmacy told me it was still awaiting the extra approval, and suggested that I check with my doctor to make sure she had submitted it to the insurance company. So I did, and the doctor's office told me their records showed it had been submitted at 4:20 the previous day. (Which I remember because... well, it's getting my drugs at 4:20, so it gave me a childish giggle.)<br />
<br />
Finally on Monday December 7th I got both a call from the pharmacy and a letter from the insurance company telling me I was now allowed to have the Abilify. I'd lost the better part of the first week; I hoped the remaining week would be enough for my doctor to see some results. I needn't have worried.<br />
<br />
By the night of December 7th I'd had my first violent outburst, screaming and throwing things at my dog for peeing on the bed. Suffice to say this is not how I normally react to this kind of (admittedly extremely annoying) inconvenience.<br />
<br />
On December 8th I set out some chicken to thaw for my dinner while I cleaned. My other dog had managed to pull it off of the counter and I caught her eating it. It was like someone had flipped a switch. I saw red and the next thing I knew I was beating the dog screaming "BAD DOG!" in her face. In the back of my mind I knew this was wrong, but the rest of my brain slammed the door on that part and was completely unremorseful. The damn dog deserved it.<br />
<br />
On December 9th I was feeling better. I was still angry in general, but it was in the background and I was starting to feel better and get things done. Okay, I thought, maybe the initial shock to my system was rough but it's balancing out and this is going to be okay.<br />
<br />
On December 10th I went to take my morning meds and discovered I had missed my meds completely the day before. December 9th was probably not better because I was adjusting, it was more likely better because I hadn't taken it. Figuring I had to give this a fair chance, I took December 10th's dosage.<br />
<br />
By the end of the day I was completely furious at life. I was miserable, my fucking family was always miserable, this world is total shithole and...<br />
<br />
On December 11th I woke up, looked at my meds, and felt an overwhelming rage at them, and actually shouted at them "<i>FUCK YOU,</i> ABILIFY! I <i>hate</i><b> </b>you, I <i>hate </i>the way you make me feel, and I don't give a goddam rat's ass about giving you a fair chance! <i>You just stay the hell away from me!</i>"<br />
<br />
...And spent the rest of the day pretty much feeling the same way I did on the 9th. Still a little angry at the world, but better in general.<br />
<br />
I should also probably mention that sometime around this time I also started taking Vitamin D, per the recommendations of... well, I honestly can't remember which doctor recommended it, it may have been all of them and/or my counselor.<br />
<br />
December 13th was amazing. My brain was sharp but not angry, I was feeling motivated and productive. I was feeling more clear headed than I had for as long as I could remember. I didn't know it at the time, but this was going to be my last day on Paxil.<br />
<br />
Because on December 14th I discovered that in all the excitement over getting the Abilify in and approved, my doctor had overlooked refilling my Paxil. In her defense this was really not like her, in the eight years I'd been seeing her I never had a problem. No big deal, I thought, I'll call them and let them know and there will undoubtedly be a refill in by the end of the day.<br />
<br />
There wasn't, but I wasn't worried, I've missed one day before with no problems. And I was feeling great! It was like all that mess with the Abilify gave my brain a jump-start, shook it up just enough that the brain fog had cleared.<br />
<br />
December 15th and there's still no refill, which is unusual, but I'm still feeling great, and I'll be seeing her on the 16th anyway for that two week follow-up.<br />
<br />
December 16th, and my doctor is absolutely appalled that she missed getting my Paxil refilled. There are no messages in the system about my having called on the 14th; they're going through some staffing changes in the reception area so I felt this was understandable. I tell her all about my last two weeks. I'm now far enough removed from the events of that week that the remorse for the way I treated the dogs and what I was finding myself planning is sinking in, especially now that I'm retelling it to someone else and I'm hearing how it sounds. "I know they say that as a society we're only seven days away from savagery, but that was really disturbing to experience that." She replies. "I should think so, you went from being a pacifist to turning violent in less than a week. Stay away from the Abilify."<br />
<br />
She refills the Paxil immediately, but discusses with me that since this has snapped me out of my brain fog, this might be a good opportunity to try and get off of it again. We tried weaning me off of it a few years ago, but it didn't work out. She warns me that going cold turkey isn't easy, but since I've inadvertently already started and am doing all right so far maybe this is the time. She recommends I pick up the refill and keep it with me, just in case.<br />
<br />
I'm feeling better than I have in years, so I decide to give it a shot. I can always go back if it gets too rough.<br />
<br />
Next up: <a href="http://fergoodnough.blogspot.com/2016/01/my-paxil-withdrawal-part-3-side-effects.html">The side effects.</a>Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-22363503233760285352016-01-01T12:10:00.001-05:002016-01-01T14:59:43.074-05:00My Paxil Withdrawl, Part 1: How Things Got StartedAfter being on Paxil for a solid 8 years, I've now been off of it for about three weeks. The withdrawal process has been difficult and in many ways my behavior has made that pretty obvious, leading to the occasional sheepish or tongue-in-cheek "Sorry everyone, I'm off my meds" post. I feel that's turning into Vaguebooking though, so I'm writing this to alleviate (or justify?) that. Originally I wanted to wait until the experience was completely over and behind me before I got into explaining it, but the process is taking so long and changing me so much that I need to do it now if I'm going to have any luck remembering the process. Plus I've found other people's writings of what it was like for them to go through this to be helpful, so perhaps this will help pay it forward.<br />
<br />
To really properly explain this I should probably go back to the beginning. I'll try to keep it as short and to the point as I can. Those who want to get straight to the meds side of the story can skip ahead to <a href="http://fergoodnough.blogspot.com/2016/01/my-paxil-withdrawal-part-two-messing.html">the next post</a>.<br />
<br />
I had a terrible depression spell in 2006. I started therapy but was very reluctant to use medications, because the first one I was prescribed had me experiencing all kinds of bizarre night terrors full of pools of blood and/or personal dismemberment and generally a lot of screaming, so I was very insistent that I was going to get through this without meds<i></i>. By late 2007 I decided that nothing any medication could do to me could be any worse than being forced to go on living. So I was put on Paxil this time and it was a good fit.<br />
<br />
For a while, anyway. I was happy and productive, then over the years I was at least content and functional, then I was functional and coping, then I was struggling but persevering, then I was having days when I'd win the struggle and days when I wouldn't. Instead of my old status quo being a somewhat silly happiness punctuated by the occasional massive low, I was now on a smooth steady bar that was descending daily, so gradually that it usually escaped my notice.<br />
<br />
There was also what I called my "fuzzy brain." My memory has never been great, but I found I was becoming more and more reliant on keeping notes for the most basic things. People would tell me about things I'd said and done and I'd just have to take their word for it. (Luckily the people in my life are all good people who I know have my back.) Just as my mood was deteriorating gradually, my brain fog was increasing gradually.<br />
<br />
Over the last year it's reached a new peak. I found I wasn't speaking up because the process of trying to choose the words was too difficult. And I don't mean about expressing my opinions, I'm talking about the day-to-day things, such as "we need to order our daughter a second bottle of chocolate milk, because one doesn't last through her entire meal anymore." I wasn't reaching out to people because conversation was too difficult. I certainly wasn't writing anymore; I'd even given up on keeping a journal. I needed to conserve whatever brain power I had for making it through the day-to-day necessities of interacting with my family.<br />
<br />
The third factor was the bad flashbacks. I know everyone has them but I have a hard time understanding how often is considered "normal" for this. I'm not sure anyone really knows what a normal amount of bad flashbacks is yet. But these were happening more and more often and getting more and more severe, being set off with the most remote of triggers. They were strong enough to bring me to a dead stop as I waged my little internal war to deal with the memories and the reactions they were making me feel in that moment, leaving me to then pull myself out of them and get back to the task at hand. My ability to keep this internalized was completely falling apart, with Joy asking me more and more often what was wrong, and I would have to just say "bad flashback" as I tried to shrug it off.<br />
<br />
In November 2015 these factors had all hit new extremes. I had no idea what task I was trying to complete. I'd be having a bad flashback every five to ten minutes. Forming basic sentences was becoming a struggle. (My counselor told me "In all the years I've been seeing you, I don't think I've ever seen you search so hard to find the next word to say.") My grandmother has Alzheimer's, so every now and then when I start having extreme memory issues like this I go over this <a href="http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_10_signs_of_alzheimers.asp#signs" target="_blank">Ten Warning Signs of Alzheimer's</a> list. This usually reassures me that what I'm experiencing is just regular aging and nothing to be concerned about, but this time I found that I completely matched six of the ten signs, with a partial match on a seventh.<br />
<br />
I had my regularly scheduled med checks with my physician (for my diabetes) and with the counseling center's psychiatrist (for my Paxil) on the same day at the beginning of December, so armed with a printout of the Ten Warning Signs and with additional notes Joy had helped me prepare, I told them both about what was going on. My physician didn't think it was Early Onset Alzheimer's, but definitely felt something was wrong, and referred me to a neurologist. I'm still waiting to see how that pans out, the earliest they can see me is February. <br />
<br />
My psychiatrist felt that the key to all my problems may have been the bad flashbacks; at a rate of one every five to ten minutes she felt this was disrupting my brain so much that it was causing all the other symptoms. This made sense to me. She didn't want to increase my Paxil again, but thought adding a new medication that would work with it might help.<br />
<br />
And that takes care of the back story, and leads us to <a href="http://fergoodnough.blogspot.com/2016/01/my-paxil-withdrawal-part-two-messing.html" target="">Part 2: Messing with the Meds</a>.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-6656945220921754622014-07-22T19:45:00.000-04:002014-07-22T19:50:35.263-04:00On Being a Tolerant (and Honest) AthiestSo I read the following article a while back:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://mobile.theweek.com/article/index/241108/where-are-the-honest-atheists" target="_blank">Where Are All the Honest Atheists? by Damon Linker</a><br />
<br />
And as I read through the article I found I disagreed with pretty much everything it said on a fundamental level. <br />
<br />
So,
here's the thing. The article states that to believe there is no God is
a tragedy, and to deny that is to be dishonest. Now, these days I
consider myself agnostic/borderline atheist. And I can say, with 100%
honesty, that it is not a source of tragedy for me.<br />
<br />
I
find it very reassuring that if I am suffering, it's not because God has
chosen not to spare me for some reason that I don't understand. I find
the idea that it was just a bad roll of the dice much more comforting.
Oh well, bad luck. Could have happened to anyone, and often does.
Everyone's turn comes eventually, this one's just mine. Roll again.<br />
<br />
And
to me the concept of an afterlife in any form is frightening. I find
the concept of nonexistence much more comforting. This idea that losing
my<i> self</i><i> </i>is something tragic just doesn't make sense to me.
Really, why should it bother me? How it can bother me if there's no me
to be bothered by it? If I don't exist, I won't be there to notice the
difference! <br />
<br />
To my mind, death is much harder on the
survivors. The loved ones left behind who now need to find a way to go
on living without the person they've lost. All the things you didn't get
to do or say together when they were here, and now never will. Knowing
you will never see that person again for the rest of your life.<br />
<br />
Which
is where religion comes in. For many people, the idea that once your
life ends you will be reunited with those lost loved ones gives them
hope.<br />
<br />
And really, what's wrong with that?<br />
<br />
And that's why I'll probably always be "borderline" atheist. Because the atheist movement can be so damn <i>anti-</i>religion.
When I first started accepting that part of the reason why no religion
has ever stuck with me was because I was too skeptical, I started
looking in to atheism. The animosity and vitriol I found there just
turned me off. Comments like "for every one good thing you can name that
religion has accomplished, I can name five bad things."<br />
<br />
Yes,
religion has been the cause of a lot of atrocities and really bad
stuff. But here's the thing I feel the atheist movement misses: <i>That's not their God's fault.</i> Did Jesus lead the Spanish Inquisition? Did Allah hijack a plane on 9/11? No, that was all <i>human beings</i>
doing that. Oh, sure, they did it in the mistaken belief that their
Gods wanted them to, but here's the key: if you went back in time and
removed all religion for the timeline of the human race, those events
(or others on a scale with them) would still have happened anyway.<br />
<br />
Because
basically, haters are gonna hate. Take God out of the equation, and
those people will do the same thing in the name of Homer Simpson.<br />
<br />
Is that tragic? Hell, yes. (Pardon the pun.) But is religion to <i>blame</i>? Not in my eyes, it isn't.<br />
<br />
I guess because I've known too many <i>good</i>
religious people, people who actually got the message of "help everyone
you can, and don't hurt anybody" that seems to be at the base of all
religions. People who lived really messed up lives until the Bible
helped them turn their lives around. People who were lonely and found
honest comfort in the church.<br />
<br />
So if religion can bring
some people peace, hope and comfort, and cause them to reach out and
help their fellow human beings, why should I consider that a bad thing
just because I don't believe there's some supreme deity out there
watching? For me to automatically assume that they're selfish,
self-serving hypocrites just because they believe in God is being just
as closed-minded and selfish. To ignore the good that's come from
religions because they've failed to produce only good things strikes me
as unfair.<br />
<br />
Which brings me back to the "Honest
Atheist." The idea that I should somehow be upset that I don't believe
in God anymore is like wishing my exes never got over me, that I was The
One Who Got Away that they regret breaking up with for the rest of
their lives. Sure, losing one's faith is never easy, and I
spent a lot of time being wrestling with it when it was happening to me.
There was a period where I mourned losing my God. But once it was
over, I found myself much more at peace with my beliefs. <br />
<br />
I
don't find the concept "that humanity is entirely the product of random
events, that we have no
more intrinsic dignity than non-human and even non-animate clumps of
matter" tragic, I find it inspiring; we, as a species, struggled,
persevered and grew until we became the creatures we are today. We rose
above those non-animate clumps of matter, and then <i>we</i> <i>invented the concept of dignity</i>.
That's incredible. Linker finds tragedy in the concept that "our lives
and loves do not at all matter in a larger sense." Again, I couldn't
disagree more. If our lives are all we'll ever experience, if all we've
got is the here and now, then the love we share becomes the <i>greatest thing</i> in the universe as we know it. That's <i>huge</i>. <br />
<br />
So
I can't speak for other agnostics/atheists out there, but I'm being
completely honest when I say I don't find the concept that there isn't a
God tragic. I think it puts the responsibility for all the terrible
things we've done squarely on our own shoulders, and at the same time
makes all the wonders and achievements we've accomplished that much more
astonishing and something to be proud of.<br />
<br />
The
important thing to remember is that as individuals, we're not all going
to be comforted by the same things. Everyone's got their own belief
system that makes the most sense to them. That diversity is what makes
us such an interesting people. As long as what comforts you brings you
peace, then you believing it works for me. Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-43602484448642321172013-11-03T21:34:00.002-05:002013-11-03T21:34:47.128-05:00...But I Know What I Like.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP0yUB4RAMuZMm_SRCDwOVq_CcSrnF6KdHtAs__LsaTRVP1NSBbWZ5cFpK-BE4Q4qpThk2881DcCGYBODQd-TTxVVeYSLqFkSwF2HDLEIeNZ9Tr0hkG5zaljdzZf3x_OmCQsoSQqI7_oLt/s1600/HRCvsOSC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP0yUB4RAMuZMm_SRCDwOVq_CcSrnF6KdHtAs__LsaTRVP1NSBbWZ5cFpK-BE4Q4qpThk2881DcCGYBODQd-TTxVVeYSLqFkSwF2HDLEIeNZ9Tr0hkG5zaljdzZf3x_OmCQsoSQqI7_oLt/s400/HRCvsOSC.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-37958231304319049202013-10-30T23:50:00.003-04:002013-10-30T23:56:41.516-04:00Don't Invite Trouble<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Presenting what may (or may not) be the first in a series of Photoshop Blog Cartoons!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.2xlrobot.com/fer/images/Dont%20Invite%20Gamers.jpg"><img alt="(Click Here to view it full size and be able to read it.)" border="0" height="342" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Dv9LMcZVW-FqZRpDdhW4tFVJafrL-j6vq3PgiKqF4D-NG2YdA7uoDXlokJYiiRCIA7Yx02TaO_CNMC_9g2ZbAJoeGjvYGxc3N88xT2ILfvUpDOi5MIrZDRBFtoJeyjOEJVSI4esidaFF/s400/Dont+Invite+Gamers.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-21145450448965988782013-01-18T16:47:00.000-05:002013-01-18T16:47:55.068-05:00On anti-depressants? Then give up the gun.<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0]">Ok, I can't avoid all the gun talk, so here's my two cents.<br /><br />(Oh, and for the record, I'm stealing my friend Lisa's (<a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/oathofblood" target="_blank">buy her book!</a>)</span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0]">
zero-tolerance attitude for this as well. This is my opinion, and it's
not up for debate. If I feel like deleting a response, then it's gone.
Want to disagree with me? Fine. Go post your own blog.)<br /><br />It's not violent video games or anything else in our culture that's causing this. It's the anti-depressants.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
I'm basing (or biasing) this on experience. The last time I had my meds reduced I had a few days where mass-murder-suicide seemed perfectly rational. Luckily another part of my brain kept saying, "Noooooo, howabout we just go find something to eat instead?" But after that, every time I heard that a shooter was either on or coming off of anti-depressants (which so far has been all of them) I just found myself saying "well, there you have it, that's why."<br />
<br id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[2]" />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[3]">I'm
not bashing anti-depressants. They've done a lot to help me and many
others get through some very rough times. But you are MESSING WITH YOUR
BRAIN CHEMISTRY. You know, your BRAIN? The thing that tells the
difference between right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable? And I
can also say from experience that it's a total trial-and-error process. They pick one that works for most people, and based on your reaction to that decide whether to keep you on it or switch you to something else. Now to be fair, I was monitored pretty closely at that stage, because when it goes wrong it can go REALLY wrong.<br /><br />But there really needs to be closer monitoring of those of us on these
medications to see the warning signs, especially when it's being reduced. You know what my counselor did to help me when I told him how I was feeling? He had me sign a paper saying that I wouldn't hurt myself or anyone else. Yeah, because when your brain is telling you that it's never going to get better ever again but you can't kill yourself because it will affect too many other people, so the only rational solution is to kill them too, and that spiral doesn't stop until you come to the conclusion that really the entire human race really just doesn't deserve to live anymore </span>and you'd be doing everyone a favor if you wiped everyone out, the only thing that pulls you back off the ledge and keeps you from doing it is remembering that you signed a little digital signature pad saying you wouldn't go there. <i>Right.</i> </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0">And from there it was "See you next month." You know what, if I'm in such a bad shape that you're making me sign contracts not to harm anyone (and let's be real, that's probably more of them covering themselves from legal responsibility than anything else), maybe that's a sign I should be seen again a little more often during this rough patch. Ya' think?</span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"> </span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"> </span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0">Now for the gun control part of the equation. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0">All of you pro-gun people shouting and screaming that only the criminals will have guns and we need more guns to save us from these shooters and Obama better not take our guns-- get real. No one is going to take your guns away. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0">And all of you anti-gun people dreaming for a gun-free America-- get real. That's never going to happen either. </span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0]"><br /><br />The bottom line is that love it or hate it, that genie was let out of the
bottle over 200 years ago, and there's no putting it back. This country was founded on guns, the Second Amendment protects the guns, and there will always be guns. So both of you, just chill out.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0]">But to me this is a clear-cut obvious place where gun control is needed. I</span></span></span><span id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[6]">f you're on
mind/mood-altering meds, then you should <b><i>not </i></b>have access to a gun. At
all. Period. Not only should it automatically disqualify you from buying a gun
anywhere (gun shows, the internet, all those lovely loopholes), you need to turn in any gun you already own while you're on them. And that also goes for anyone else in the house you live in as well. You should not be able to have access to a gun <i>at all</i>. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[6]">After
you've been off the meds for a few years and have had enough evaluations to prove you're stable again, then you can have them back. But someone has to sign off on it, being willing to put themselves out there and say "yes, I think this person is okay to own a weapon again."<br /></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2]"><span class="UFICommentBody" id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0"><span id=".reactRoot[88].[1][2][1]{comment395709397189898_65942723}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[0]">If
it's illegal to drive a car when your brain is intoxicated, then it
should be illegal to own a gun when your brain chemistry is being
altered as well.</span></span></span></span></span><br /><br />I like to think that my own sense of morality, my being able to recognize even in my lowest state that I didn't want to hurt anyone, was enough to keep me from being one of those crazies you see on the news. But you know what? <i>I don't have access to a gun.</i> And I don't doubt that that helped.<br />
<br />
Oh, and one last thing. <br /><br />To those of you who actually think Sandy Hook has any kind of conspiracy behind it... shame on you.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-70885769093292248352012-10-26T17:42:00.001-04:002012-10-26T18:04:49.630-04:00It's Not About SexI generally refer to myself as "bi" and not "bisexual."<br />
<br />
It's not that I have a problem with the term bisexual <i>per se</i>, but I think a lot of people only see the "sexual" part of the word. And that's a problem.<br />
<br />
'Cause I've been in a monogamous marriage since the '90s, see, and here's the thing-- the whole bi part of my identity hasn't gone away. And that's a bit of a surprise for me, because for a lot of my friends who used to identify as bi, it did. They would say things to me like "Ehh, with no [same-sex partners] in my life I never think about it anymore." So I just kind of assumed that when my wife and I settled down and got monogamous, it would go away for me too.<br />
<br />
It hasn't. Arguments over LGBT rights still hit very close to home, even though no law is going to be passed invalidating my marriage since it's an opposite-sex marriage. I still notice the occasional cute guy in a movie or walking past me in the mall. I still feel the need to talk to people who are in tune with me and understand who I am and not just accept or tolerate the fact that I'm different. And I still feel the need to break the stereotypes. (<i>ie,</i> Bisexuals are promiscuous, bisexuals can't be faithful, bisexuals can't be trusted.)<br />
<br />
And with all this hetero, married, monogamous sex ruling my life since the late 20th Century, you'd think it would have gone away by now. It's almost like how the first twenty years of my life were, when I kept trying to deny it was there in the first place and it wouldn't go away then either. What's up with that?<br />
<br />
Oh, that's right-- <i>it's a core part of who I am</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>It's not <i>about </i>sex. </b>Yes, sex does start with attraction, but I can honestly say I have no desire to have sex with the attractive people I meet. Yes, relationships often lead to sex, but not always. But when you tell some people you're bisexual, they think you're telling them, "I like to have sex with men and women." They hear it as "<i>bi</i>-<b>SEXUAL</b>."<br />
<br />
They don't hear "after years of being called a fag I finally made peace with who I am, and I don't ever want to hide that again." They don't hear "I feel like my government and most religions are persecuting me, and it scares me." They don't hear "I'm bi, married, and monogamous, and I need you to understand that I'm not the only one, I'm just one of the few trying to change your preconceived notions about that being the exception to the rule."<br />
<br />
They don't hear you saying "I just want you to honestly love me for who I am, because I love you and your opinion means the world to me, and it hurts me when you tell me to keep it to myself."<br />
<br />
Telling me to keep it to myself is like someone saying "Would you <i>please</i> dye your hair? Porn stars have blonde hair, but you insist on letting everyone see you have blonde hair. I don't need to know you have porn-star-colored hair. If you won't dye it, you should at least keep a hat on, because I don't need to know about that."<br />
<br />
I'm not talking about my sex life when I talk about my orientation. My orientation has nothing to do with my sex life any more. I'm talking about something as basic about myself as the town I grew up in or the church I went to or the pet I own. I'm talking about my civil liberties. I'm talking about not having to hide who I am, and not feeling like who I am is something to be ashamed of.<br />
<br />
I'm simply saying "Yeah, I'm bi" in the same way that I say "Yeah, I'm Italian." A simple statement of fact about myself, my history, my identity, and yes, a touch of pride.<br />
<br />
So I only refer to myself as "bi." Not that I have anything against the term "bisexual," but because there's more to it --and to me-- than the sexuality.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-86618723532897462902011-11-09T15:07:00.000-05:002011-11-09T15:07:46.605-05:00I know! Let's Bring a TANK!Since I've given up on my "Dreaming in Emotion" blog, here's my latest crazy dream:<br />
<br />
I was at a science fiction con, and some guy just strolled into my room.<br />
<br />
"Can I help you?" I asked.<br />
<br />
He peered at me over his glasses and smiled. "Don't you recognize me?" Well, no, I didn't, but I don't recognize people who recognize me all the time, so I just smiled and let it go. So he just went and made himself comfortable in the next room and went to bed.<br />
<br />
I looked at my buddy. "Who is that?!?" I asked.<br />
<br />
"Beats me." Hmm... I think I've been had.<br />
<br />
I walked out to see him, and he was all curled up in a bed. "I don't really know you, do I," I asserted.<br />
<br />
"Nope."<br />
<br />
"Okay, you need to leave."<br />
<br />
<br />
"Nope."<br />
<br />
<br />
"No, seriously, this isn't cool. Get out or I'm calling the cops."<br />
<br />
"Zzzzzz....."<br />
<br />
I picked up the phone and made a big production of actually calling the police, to the intruder's complete indifference.<br />
<br />
And soon enough, someone did show up, but it wasn't the police... it was the Army. Soldiers came rushing in through the door, with a giant tank making its way through the room and out onto the balcony. Luckily, it was a great big balcony on the roof, with stairs leading down to a giant landing with a swimming pool. Although the balcony doors were wide enough for the tank, the stairs were only the width of a person, so the tank got stuck.<br />
<br />
And all the while, the intruder was still sleeping blissfully away, indifferent to the madness around him. Unfortunately, the madness was also indifferent to him, as none of the soldiers ever thought to look in the bed, and now they were all scurrying around trying to figure out what to do about the tank.<br />
<br />
Well, that did it. I had had my fill and finally lost my temper, and started stomping on the landing and shouting at the soldiers in a perfect Lewis Black rant. "What a genius idea, bringing a tank up to the thirtieth floor! 'Hey, we've gotta go catch one guy on the top floor of a building! What should we bring?!? Oh, I know! <i>Let's bring a TANK!!!</i>"<br />
<br />
The next person to knock at the door was a guy who looked a lot like the intruder. Turns out he was here to meet up with the first guy, so the intruder just casually got out of bed and strolled out, leaving the mess of the Army behind him. Soon the Army themselves moved on, leaving the tank wedged on the stairs with a green wide-headed antennaed alien slumped up unconscious against the tank.<br />
<br />
Then Frank showed up wearing a Greatest American Hero neck tie. The dream got a little bizarre after that, so I'll stop there.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-62336042977882049122011-08-21T06:00:00.003-04:002011-08-21T19:52:46.945-04:00I Got Your Class Warfare Right Here [Updated]Before you read my ranting, it might help if you watch these videos. They only take about 11:20 total, not counting the 30 second Kashi commercial you have to sit through before each one, which makes for a total of 12:20, which is almost a quarter of an hour which now that I think about it is rather a long time so on second thought never mind.<br />
<br />
And if you can keep up with that line of catastrophising thinking, you'll see the state my mind is in right now for the real topic.<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: black; width: 520px;"><div style="padding: 4px;"><embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" base="." flashvars="" height="288" src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:video:thedailyshow.com:394982" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512"></embed><br />
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding: 4px; text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-august-18-2011/world-of-class-warfare---warren-buffett-vs--wealthy-conservatives">The Daily Show</a></b><br />
Get More: <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/">Daily Show Full Episodes</a>,<a href="http://www.indecisionforever.com/">Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>,<a href="http://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow">The Daily Show on Facebook</a></div></div></div><br />
<div style="background-color: black; width: 520px;"><div style="padding: 4px;"><embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" base="." flashvars="" height="288" src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:video:thedailyshow.com:394983" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512"></embed><br />
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 4px; padding: 4px; text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-august-18-2011/world-of-class-warfare---the-poor-s-free-ride-is-over">The Daily Show</a></b><br />
Get More: <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/">Daily Show Full Episodes</a>,<a href="http://www.indecisionforever.com/">Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>,<a href="http://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow">The Daily Show on Facebook</a></div></div></div><br />
I still want to believe in the human race. I want to believe that deep down, in their hearts, people understand that other people are people too, and not just a commodity to be bought and sold, to be used up and thrown away.<br />
<br />
But I'm losing that faith. It dies a little more with every headline I see, every news article I read, every "news" story I watch. <br />
<br />
I used to feel that slavery was something in the past, something we knew had been a horrible mistake on the part of the human race, a lesson painfully learned that we would never make again. But no, oh no no. We've just learned to play around the rules, to find new ways of making sure that there will forever be a Ruling Class and a Serving Class. Masters and slaves by new names.<br />
<br />
"Demonizing the rich?" Are you kidding me? The only ones demonizing the rich are the rich's defenders. The more they protest the more obvious the greed becomes. Neil Cavuto says at the 1:37 mark in the first video that Warren Buffett needs to "stop assuming the rich are all billionaires." Oh, those poor poor millionaires who may never see their first billion! Why are they being persecuted? No, instead Cavuto says "before you start demanding that one group pay more, maybe get everyone [the poor] to put skin in the game." (Second video, 2:17.) Yes, that's it, those damn freeloading poor people, clinging greedily to their lower 2.5% of the nation's wealth. How dare they.<br />
<br />
It's not enough that the rich and the politicians have been destroying the middle class. No, now that the end of the middle class is in sight, it's time to turn our sites on the poor. <br />
<br />
Who can we count on to watch out for us? Not the politicians. They make more money than we'll ever see, so they're part of the rich as well. Their only job is to protect their jobs, and they do it well. The human decency of those running the corporations? Don't make me laugh. With the phasing out of unions (and corruption of some of the unions that are left) they've learned the best way to save money is to get rid of the workers they've had the longest who are at the top of the pay scale and replace them with someone at minimum wage. "Get me another monkey for the press," as a boss of mine once said.<br />
<br />
Fox News will have us believe that Warren Buffett is enacting Class Warfare. They need to shut the frak up before they give the poor ideas. Because thanks to the NRA, the one thing the poor do have left is their guns, and thanks to the right keeping them uneducated they may not realize that a "class war" doesn't involve shooting. And really, what good would it do them? Let's say the Lower Class does rise up into an all-out rebellion against the rich (which will never, ever happen, because they're too busy watching Jersey Shore). Then the politicians would have to start sending in the military to deal with these Poverty Terrorists, which would undoubtedly lead to less civil rights and a stronger wall being built between the rich and the poor. Maybe even a literal wall. And then there we are, with the elite living in luxury and safety inside their castle while the rest of us live in tents in the wastelands outside watching our government-provided televisions with no off buttons, until one day a group decides to gather up 4400 people from various points in human history, augment them with special powers and then drop them all back in time to try and prevent what happened, but of course the rich won't want that to happen so they'll try to sabotage it...<br />
<br />
...Maybe I should just get my meds checked.<br />
<br />
<br />
<u><i><b>UPDATED:</b></i></u> I got together with two friends of mine after I wrote this, and they helped talk me off of the ledge. One of them pointed out to me that I was being prejudiced towards all rich people, forgetting even Warren Buffett. And he was right, I was letting generalizations fuel my paranoia. He also helped me put things in perspective. We have a friend who is considering joining the Marines (I'll call her Betty). When I started saying that the military was going to round up all the poor people and put us all in labor camps, my friend said "Good, then maybe Betty won't get sent to Afghanistan, she'll just have to shoot hobos." The absurdity of which made us all laugh, and gave me a serious reality check. I considered pulling the post, but I've decided to let it stand as an experiment in creative writing. So don't take it too seriously, and I'll try not to either.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-45529773140479595992010-12-28T21:47:00.003-05:002010-12-28T21:56:40.226-05:00Biphobia-phobiaLogging into Facebook tonight, and here's the headlines that greeted me:<br />
<br />
- - - - - - - - - - - <br />
<br />
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="messageBody">That's right bi folks NBC is prepping to call you a whore. And they're whitewashing stuff. Happy to see <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=162843922233" href="http://www.facebook.com/racebending">Racebending</a> and perhaps even <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=2506140" href="http://www.facebook.com/minnalee">Marissa Minna Lee</a> are tweeting the issue. Seems like a good story for <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100000531851239" href="http://www.facebook.com/kanika.ameerah">Kanika Ameerah</a> <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1209003705" href="http://www.facebook.com/ktempestbradford">K Tempest Bradford</a> too! Props to <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1125342057" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1125342057">Paige Listerud</a> for the info!</span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="messageBody"><a href="http://alisavaldes.wordpress.com/2010/12/28/the-new-elizabeth-how-my-normal-lesbian-character-was-made-pathological-for-hollywood/">http://alisavaldes.wordpress.com/2010/12/28/the-new-elizabeth-how-my-normal-lesbian-character-was-made-pathological-for-hollywood/ </a></span></h6><br />
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<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><div class="actorName actorDescription"><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=116031465116295" href="http://www.facebook.com/biguys">Bisexual Men</a></div><span class="messageBody">More Biphobic Blather: Say It Ain't So Joe - The usually evenhanded, intelligent and amusing blogger <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1006427220" href="http://www.facebook.com/JoeMyGod">Joe Jervis</a> of the popular <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=163121917034901" href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/JoeMyGod/163121917034901">JoeMyGod</a> has really struck out with this throw-away post. Please stop by and (politely) remind him and his regular readers/posters that just like Polish Jokes or anti-Semitic Jokes are not actually funny, Biphobic ones aren't either.</span></h6><a class="external UIImageBlock_Image UIImageBlock_MED_Image" data-ft="{"type":"media"}" href="http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/12/bizarre-world-of-bisexual.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title=""><img class="img" src="http://external.ak.fbcdn.net/safe_image.php?d=e96e40ae216b37f6068f2e5e9cfe2c89&w=90&h=90&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trochaeus.com%2Fjoe.png" /></a><br />
<div class="uiAttachmentTitle"><b><a href="http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/12/bizarre-world-of-bisexual.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Joe. My. God.: The Bizarre World Of The Bisexual</a></b></div><div class="uiAttachmentTitle"></div><div class="uiAttachmentTitle"><b>- - - - - - - - - - - - </b></div><div class="uiAttachmentTitle"></div><div class="uiAttachmentTitle"><div class="UIImageBlock_Content UIImageBlock_MED_Content fsm fwn fcg"><div class="uiAttachmentTitle"><b><a href="http://shar.es/Xikfu" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Don’t Worry, Ke$ha. I Don’t Want to Date You, Either « Matt Kailey</a></b> </div>shar.es<br />
<div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc">And neither do any of the trans guys I know. In fact, for someone who tries soooo hard to be hip, you are making yourself less cool every day.</div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"></div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc">[Like I really need another reason to dislike Ke$ha. - Fer] <br />
<div class="uiAttachmentTitle"></div><div class="uiAttachmentTitle"><b>- - - - - - - - - - - - - </b></div><div class="uiAttachmentTitle"><b><br />
</b></div>You know what? I'm sick of this shit. I joined these various bi groups for support and encouragement, not for constant doomsaying about how we're being erased by the gay community and stereotyped by the straight community. We're hated by both sides. I get it. <br />
<br />
</div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"></div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc">The thing is, if they hadn't told me, I never would have noticed.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"></div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc">The majority of my friends are straight. They've never treated me with anything other than acceptance and respect. I've had a few gay friends over the years, one of which I still keep in touch with. And they've always been accepting and cool with me too. I've organized a bi section in our local Pride March, and the people running the march were downright <i>thrilled </i>to have a bi group in it and have the "B" in LGBT <b style="font-weight: normal;">not be just lip service. More thrilled than everyone else in my local bi group, in fact-- the only one who marched with me was a straight ally friend from outside the group. And that's really been my only problem being on my own-- the feeling that although I am accepted, no one around me really "<i>gets it</i>."</b><br />
<br />
</div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"></div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"><b style="font-weight: normal;">The point I'm making here is that I joined these bi groups to help lift me up and feel less alone. Instead all I'm getting are depressing situations dragging me down from the national groups, and down-right apathy and being completely ignored from the local group. I've come to the conclusion I was happier when I was alone.</b><br />
<br />
</div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"></div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"><b style="font-weight: normal;">I'm not saying that these things shouldn't be brought to light, that we should just let bi-erasure and biphobia slide without doing anything about it. I'm saying that I, personally, am sick of the fight. I'm sick of feeling like I can't make a difference, because haters are gonna hate, and because no one answers my messages to my local group anymore anyway. I can't improve things locally. I can't improve things nationally. All I'm accomplishing by trying to remain a part of the "bi community" is making myself upset.</b></div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br />
</b></div><div class="mts uiAttachmentDesc"><b style="font-weight: normal;">While I don't know enough to not write and post a blog when I'm mad, I do know enough not to completely burn my bridges. I'm not going to completely quit these groups just yet. But I think I'm going to try hiding their messages and not reading their e-mails for a month or two and see how I feel then.</b><br />
<br />
</div></div></div>But for now, I've had enough. I'm out.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-62783798771371201822010-12-18T23:32:00.000-05:002010-12-18T23:32:22.465-05:00Plan B<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAUWjWsTtVTXu-jH3EAkrnh10wESl54_bmbkxvkHZCH5SsIqsNlr_ZBddFdXlkcq217GLdoS2fgizzqRzVX-HU41w5GRl0qz295QZzbzp7zyvJqWat8o4ITEMrxcQsCkpjCZERTYmP7ZKg/s1600/plan-b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAUWjWsTtVTXu-jH3EAkrnh10wESl54_bmbkxvkHZCH5SsIqsNlr_ZBddFdXlkcq217GLdoS2fgizzqRzVX-HU41w5GRl0qz295QZzbzp7zyvJqWat8o4ITEMrxcQsCkpjCZERTYmP7ZKg/s320/plan-b.jpg" width="241" /></a></div><span style="color: red;">Spoiler Level: High</span><br />
<br />
They say we want to see ourselves reflected in the world around us. It must be true, because why else would I sit through two whole seasons of <i>A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila</i>? Probably for the same reason I rented <i>Plan B</i>. I want to see people and characters that I can identify with, and being bi, there aren't too many. For what it's worth, <em>Plan B</em> is far and away the better of the two.<br />
<br />
<em>Plan B</em> is the story of Bruno, Pablo and Laura. Bruno is obsessed with his ex, Laura. But Laura has moved on and has a new boyfriend, Pablo. Well, kind of moved on. She still sleeps with Bruno. But she emphatically tells Bruno that's as far as it will ever go between them again. So, after hearing that Laura's new boyfriend Pablo was with a guy once, he hatches Plan B: get Pablo interested in <i>him </i>so Pablo will dump Laura, paving the way for Bruno to get her back. But of course, things don't go as planned, and Bruno starts getting confused when he finds himself genuinely falling in love with Pablo.<br />
<br />
It's a decent enough movie. It's from Argentina, and it reminds me of the days before Joy & I started our own business, when we'd go out to the movies with Dave and watch just about everything. I haven't seen a good art house movie in a long time. And it's definitely good, albeit very slowly paced. <i>Very </i>slowly paced, which allows things to unfold in a very delicate manner. And there is something very charming about Bruno and Pablo that sticks with you after the movie has ended.<br />
<br />
As to the whole personal reflection thing, I was quite surprised the first time I found myself feeling emotional over another guy, so there were definite scenes I could relate to. It doesn't really relate to where I am now, but that's okay. Oh, and I could be wrong about this, but I don't recall the B word ever being used; I read in a bi forum that the maker of <em>The Kids Are All Right </em>said that if she used the word bisexual, she wouldn't have been able to get the film released. You wouldn't think that would matter in Argentina, though, but hey, I've never been to Argentina so for all I know they're even more uptight there.<br />
<br />
So all in all it was nice to see, but I'll still be looking for something I identify with a little closer.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-71957965145528638822010-10-07T10:12:00.000-04:002010-10-07T10:12:01.497-04:00Why People Believe Weird Things: Pseudoscience, Superstition, and Other Confusions of Our Time by Michael Shermer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2rFhEYE-w0FrRAIgZwTpkjwDdxAuxkWA2U7rz-00rJimy7fjXdQ_R73gwW_X260-I3YB2D6p5skaJoIfDjeNCw5r1XMfN4OTooVOo6-cRMoygUcKT8DpNR8xIiTrud324j79EMmwX5HVv/s1600/why_people_believe_weird_things350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2rFhEYE-w0FrRAIgZwTpkjwDdxAuxkWA2U7rz-00rJimy7fjXdQ_R73gwW_X260-I3YB2D6p5skaJoIfDjeNCw5r1XMfN4OTooVOo6-cRMoygUcKT8DpNR8xIiTrud324j79EMmwX5HVv/s320/why_people_believe_weird_things350.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>This is one fantastic book.<br />
<br />
Michael Shermer takes a skeptical look at topics such as ESP, UFO abductions, near-death experiences, creationism, Objectivism, Holocaust denial and more. But the main purpose of this book isn't to debunk them (which he skillfully does) or ridicule them (which he carefully doesn't); what makes the book great is that he's out to understand <i>why </i>people believe them, despite sometimes overwhelming evidence to the contrary.<br />
<br />
Since he says it himself at the beginning of the book, it's not really giving anything away for me to include the short answer here: we believe these things because we are pattern-recognizing creatures with intuitive thinking. And while this worked great for our survival as a species, it means we're also great at finding patterns for things that aren't there, assigning meaning to them, and then skillfully defending them.<br />
<br />
The rest of the book gives the long answer as he looks at each item individually, showing the different ways we bring such beliefs into existence in the first place, presenting the evidence against it, and exploring why people are able to discount that evidence in a way that seems logical to them. It's a wonderful blend of science, psychology and sociology, all while keeping a skeptical approach. It kept me fascinated from beginning to end and has introduced me to the benefits of healthy skepticism.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-30662807003352825772010-08-12T01:05:00.003-04:002010-08-12T01:18:54.195-04:00See, now this is why the HRC sometimes pisses me off.I like the HRC, I really do. They're the public face of LGBT rights, the ones out there getting the word out, shining a light on anti-equality issues, and putting the pressure on politicians and corporations. In a world where there are so many anti-equality organizations out there, I view the HRC as the Great Equalizer.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXPRB8mecOXKM0d76xXWhC9fREJZRobZhC2ZQhYxsvvq9Bech1K1Mxewv8K5sDkQYY3sLXkyh9XUcV13sSgE2olGg7wT5hYH7IUapiu2ocfK1UOfnqfxmPR4tp8XXI8aEP4NeeDc4i-Ez4/s1600/HRC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXPRB8mecOXKM0d76xXWhC9fREJZRobZhC2ZQhYxsvvq9Bech1K1Mxewv8K5sDkQYY3sLXkyh9XUcV13sSgE2olGg7wT5hYH7IUapiu2ocfK1UOfnqfxmPR4tp8XXI8aEP4NeeDc4i-Ez4/s200/HRC.jpg" width="129" /></a></div>Not only that, but it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when I see an HRC sticker on someone else's car. Just saw one today, in fact. (Although in an amusing side note, since I have both an HRC sticker and an Information Society sticker on my car, my daughter used to get the two of them mixed up and think that people with HRC stickers were promoting InSoc. But I digress.)<br />
<br />
But there's a few things they do that I just don't feel are on the up-and-up. Let's start with the name: The Human Rights Campaign. When I first heard about it and saw their symbol I thought they were like Amnesty International, and were taking up the gay rights banner because it fell in step with their philosophy. Because they're not called Gay Rights Campaign, they're called HUMAN Rights Campaign. And yes, I 100% agree that gay rights are human rights. But the HRC is <i>only </i>interested in gay rights. I don't recall hearing a peep out of them about the <a href="http://www.democracynow.org/2007/7/10/the_case_of_the_jena_six">Jena 6</a> trials, and Guantanamo got a brief write-up condemning it that didn't even take up a full column in their newsletter magazine, <i>Equality</i>. But since they call themselves the <b>Human </b>Rights Campaign, they send across this image that they're something bigger than they really are. It's easy to disregard a group called the Gay Rights Campaign, because they're obviously a biased, specialized group whose morals you may not agree with. But Human Rights? You can't just disregard that, that would be immoral. If you ignore something from someone calling themselves "Human Rights Campaign," then you're just like Saddam Hussein, right?<br />
<br />
For the record, I have the same problem with the Mr. Universe competition. Never once has there been a contestant from anywhere other than Earth. It's a deceptive, and therefore inaccurate name.<br />
<br />
Now, I don't mind that the HRC focuses exclusively on gay rights; I just wish they'd come right out and say it. But using a BS name like "Human Rights Campaign," they're being misleading and just as manipulative as "Focus on the Family" (because gay families are still families) or "National Organization for Marriage" (because they're only <i>for</i> straight marriage and <i>against</i> gay marriages).<br />
<br />
Here's the most recent thing they did that pissed me off.<br />
<hr /><span style="font-size: small;"><b>______________________________________________</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Tell Target and Best Buy: You need to make this right.</b></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Add your name!</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>One candidate for Governor of Minnesota has promised to veto marriage equality legislation and has ties to a Christian rock band that advocates death to gays.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Target and Best Buy, both based in Minneapolis, have donated $250,000 to a political committee supporting his campaign.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>But they still have a chance to make it right. We've drafted an open letter calling on the companies to donate an equal amount to support fair-minded candidates. We'll publish it in a full-page ad in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. Will you help us ratchet up the pressure by adding your name?</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Tell Target and Best Buy to make it right. Add your name now.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>By signing on, you'll help make it clear that Target and Best Buy are risking the business of millions of pro-equality customers – and show the rest of corporate America, which is watching this situation very closely, that support for hateful and intolerant candidates won't go unnoticed.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>But don't stop there. Print out our letter, take it to the manager of your local Target and Best Buy, and let them know how disappointed you are.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Here's the backstory: Earlier this week, reports surfaced that Target had donated $150,000 to the political committee MN Forward. Best Buy pitched in another $100,000.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>MN Forward's mission? Elect as governor an anti-LGBT state representative with a long history of attacks on LGBT Americans. This representative's campaign even donated to a controversial "punk-rock Christian ministry" whose leader has advocated executing gays and lesbians!</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>After all these two companies have done to build a fair and equitable workplace, it's a slap in the face. In years past, Target and Best Buy consistently received 100 percent ratings on the Human Rights Campaign Foundation's Corporate Equality Index.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>They need to make this right – by donating an equal amount to support candidates who will fight for equality. But they won't do it just because we ask. They need to see that hundreds of thousands of customers across the country are upset and disappointed.</b></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=916&utm_source=Convio&utm_medium=email&utm_term=link-2&utm_campaign=Video-Dont-let-Target-and-Best-Buy-off-the-hook&JServSessionIdr004=9gr010gji1.app304a"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Add your name now.</b></span></a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>I hope Target and Best Buy will do the right thing. But it's up to us to show that fair-minded consumers are paying close attention to what they do next.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Let's make this happen,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Joe Solmonese</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b> </b></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>President</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>______________________________________________</b></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b> </b></span><br />
<hr /><br />
Okay, now here's what pisses me off about this.<br />
<br />
(1) They never mention the name of the candidate, the "punk rock Christian ministry," or its leader. Why? Fear of libel? If they're positive enough to get us riled up over this, shouldn't the facts be on their side and support their argument? And by not giving me any of these names, I can't look into this on my own.<br />
<br />
They did give the name of the organization, MN Forward. So I Googled that, which led me to articles in <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/sc-dc-0812-target-gays-20100811,0,3008856.story">The Chicago Tribune </a>and <a href="http://minnesotaindependent.com/58393/gop-linked-punk-rock-ministry-says-executing-gays-is-moral">The Minnesota Independent</a>, which were not afraid to name names. The candidate is Tom Emmer, the punk rock Christian ministry is called You Can Run But You Cannot Hide, Inc, and the guy making the hateful comments that is being linked to Emmer is Bradlee Dean. (And boy, are they some doozies. Click on the Minnesota Independant link to read them if you're so inclined.) <br />
<br />
Now the information as HRC reports it <i>is</i> accurate. But holding back on so much of the specifics really irks me. If you're going to take a stand, then put it all on the table, and treat me with enough decency that I can fact-check you.<br />
<br />
(2) HRC says "<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>They need to make this right – by donating an equal amount to support candidates who will fight for equality."</b></span> Now, bear in mind Target and Best Buy did not make donations to Tom Emmer directly, they donated to MN Forward. The Chicago Tribune reports "<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>the Human Rights Campaign ... is demanding that the giant retailer make an equivalent or greater donation to groups supporting equal rights candidates.</b></span>" Now I would hope it would be a Minnesotan group that supports a pro-equality candidate, but it could just as easily be the HRC themselves. Now bear in mind, I am <i>not</i> saying that this is a ploy by the HRC to get money from Target and Best Buy. I'm saying they're so afraid of <i>appearing </i>like it <i>could be </i>a ploy to get money that they don't have the cajones to come straight out and say that they asked Target and Best Buy to donate to organizations and not specific candidates. The organizations would of course be supporting the candidates, so saying "<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>donating an equal amount to support candidates who will fight for equality" </b></span>is not a flat-out lie, but it is a half-truth, and once again it's one I feel was completely unnecessary.<br />
<br />
I think the bottom line is that politics is an ugly game, and the HRC has learned how to play it well. Unfortunately those who play the game also treat the voters like we're children, and play games with us to get what they want. And more often than not this leads to worse things. <br />
<br />
So to the HRC, I say this:<br />
<br />
I support your cause, it's very near and dear to me, and I acknowledge that you are the biggest organization out there with the leverage to get the job done. But trust me to be able to think for myself. Don't stoop to the manipulative tactics and half-truths of politics when talking to us, your supporters. Because if we, the LGBT community, can't trust the biggest name that's fighting for us, then where are we supposed to turn?<br />
<br />
Now for the record, I do support what HRC is doing in this situation, I am going to sign the petition, and I do donate $10 to the HRC every month. I do think that what they are doing is important. It's just that sometimes, they really piss me off in the way they do it.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-88223321060369584672010-05-09T22:14:00.005-04:002010-05-09T22:37:08.788-04:00Farewell to Jioio's.<center><br /><br /><object width="445" height="364"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rvPuwGv_FQQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&border=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rvPuwGv_FQQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="445" height="364"></embed></object><br /><br /></center><br /><br />Jioio's has been my favorite local pizza place since before I moved back to Greensburg in 1995.<br /><br />They're truly one of a kind. They use a pastry crust and a sweet sauce for a pizza like nowhere else. It's gotten expensive, so it's become a rare treat that I look forward to.<br /><br />I honestly don't remember what happened the last time I got Jioio's, but I remember being very disappointed with the way I was treated.<br /><br />Tonight we got Jioio's to go. I ordered three pizzas and an Italian Sampler. We get there on time, and the pizzas are ready, but it'll be a few minutes for the sampler. No problem. Then they bring us the sampler and it's a Fried Sampler, not an Italian Sampler, but they treat it as they simply almost gave me someone else's sampler so my Italian Sampler is still coming. Lots of other people come and go. My pizza is getting cold. After about 20 minutes, I ask if they had to remake the Italian Sampler. No, the kitchen is just backed up, they answer. More and more people come and go, others having ordered pizzas with pasta as well. After 35 minutes, my Italian Sampler is finally ready.<br /><br />I. Am. Furious. I'm envisioning throwing every jar of sauce, smashing every cooler window. I struggle to maintain my calm, and ask that, since my pizza is now cold, if I can get some kind of a partial refund. The manager shakes her head and says "Sorry," with a half-smile that says "not a chance."<br /><br />What upset me wasn't so much that they made the mistake, it was the attitude of "Well, we're Jioio's. Do you want it or don't you?" They seem to have reached a point where they know they're hot stuff, and so people will put up with being treated poorly to get their fix.<br /><br />So I came home, gathered up all my Jioio's t-shirts, and burned them.<br /><br />It was very cathartic. I was even able to relax and enjoy the pizza while I watched the t-shirts burn. I was letting go of my hopes and expectations for Jioio's. They were no longer my #1, my something special to look forward to. I was denying them the power to let me down again.<br /><br />I'm not going to be a baby and stamp my feet and scream "no!" any time anyone else wants to have their food -- my family included, because Joy really does love their Italian Sampler -- but someone else will have to handle dealing with them. If they had acknowledged the mistake, offered to keep my pizza warm, offered a partial refund, offered a discount for a future order... heck, any basic PR appease-the-customer tactic, it would have helped. And they won't notice I'm gone. But for me, it's time to let one more hero go.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-50816284740766078692010-03-02T09:25:00.012-05:002010-03-02T10:41:25.903-05:00How to Handle Bad FlashbacksEverybody has bad flashbacks from time to time. For years I've had multiple bad flashbacks every hour, every day. During my therapy I questioned whether this was normal or excessive, and I got very different answers depending on which counselor I talked to, so for now I feel that nobody really knows.<br /><br />But over the last year or so I've combined many of my <a href="http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">DBT</span> skills</a> and found a way to deal with them that actually works for me. I can honestly say the number of bad flashbacks I've had has decreased since I've started doing this, and the impact each one makes on my present moment is seriously reduced.<br /><br />For me it's important to understand why something is the way it is, so here's some important background information first.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. What's the difference between a bad flashback and a bad memory?</span><br />Bad memories are filed away nicely in the memory banks. Usually the pain is already dealt with unless you deliberately choose to start looking at it again, even though you might still be working through the after-effects of the event that caused the bad memory.<br /><br />Bad flashbacks, on the other hand, are little landmines laid all around your brain. They strike when hit by a trigger, which can be any little thing on the outside world or any stray thought in your mind. You don't know when they're going to show up, and when they do they blast you with the full emotional impact of a punch in the gut. The pain can be just as bad as the moment it first happened, or even worse because it's been piled on over time.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Why do bad flashbacks happen more than good ones?</span><br />You'd think the good ones would be what the brain wants to keep, right? Not necessarily. The bad flashbacks start out as a trauma. The trauma doesn't need to be big-- it can be a small moment of embarrassment, regret<span style="font-weight: bold;">, </span>guilt, social mistakes, regretting what you said or didn't say, etc. The good moments move through the brain easily, because they're harmless, hopefully leaving good memories. But the bad moments inflict a small trauma as they pass through the brain. And like any other trauma to the body, it leaves a scar. Bad flashbacks are scars in your brain.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. If it's in your mind, it's real to the mind.</span><br />Whatever emotion you're feeling, it's totally real <span style="font-style: italic;">at that moment, </span>and it doesn't matter if that emotion was based on a current event or on a memory. So when flashbacks hit, you are reliving that exact moment.<br /><br />Constantly reliving those small moments of guilt, embarrassment and regret over and over can make them pile up and lead to self-loathing. So I think it's very important to find a way to understand them.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Now, understanding that, here's what I do when one rears its ugly head.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1. Validate that it has upset me.</span><br />Trying to repress them often makes them worse. However, this is the natural first reaction to a bad flashback, because we don't want to face the pain they bring. So without dwelling on it, I simply acknowledge to myself, "Okay, that hurt."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2. Look at it in a non-judging manner.</span><br />I try to remove any emotional value from the memory. It's not bad or good; it simply happened. Remember that if it's in your mind, it's real to the mind, so by removing the emotional value of "good and bad" or "right and wrong," I'm left with just the facts of the event and can look at it in a more detached manner.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Reverse the roles</span><br />I find it much easier to forgive other people than to forgive myself. So I look at the event replacing myself with someone else. If the transgression was with a friend, I put the friend in my place and think "What if my friend had done that to me instead?"<br /><br />Please note that this is different than putting <span style="font-style: italic;">me</span> in <span style="font-style: italic;">my friend's</span> place. Guilt usually comes because we've upset someone. I believe that flashback guilt comes from a certain degree of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">mindreading</span>: yes, we've upset them, but did we really upset them so badly that we should still be this upset about it years later? Did I truly devastate my friend because I bought the last donut? Probably not. But I felt so bad about it that it's grown out of control. So I chose to look at it from my <span style="font-style: italic;">current perspective </span>of "what if my friend bought the last donut today?" Usually I find I wouldn't care, or I could forgive him easily.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. Transfer that forgiveness back to yourself.</span><br />This sounds hard, but it gets easier with practice. Holding that forgiveness in awareness, focusing all my attention on it, I allow the roles to slip back to how it really happened. And I allow the forgiveness to settle back into the memory. I choose to forgive my younger self in the exact same way that I chose to forgive the mistakes my friends have made.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5. What would I do today?</span><br />If I could Quantum Leap back into my younger body at that exact moment, how would I handle it differently? In the case of the donut, I'd say "Wow, I'm sorry man. Let's stop over at the other store, I know they sell donuts there too. I'll treat." Showing myself how I would handle the incident completely different now drives home to my mind that I've grown and I've learned from my mistakes. It lays down a new pathway for my mind to follow if that particular flashback hits me again.<br /><br /><br />I realize that these steps can sound difficult, and it's not something that immediately works over night-- like everything else I've learned in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">DBT</span>, it's a skill, and the more I've worked on it and practiced it the better it's gotten for me. It's made a huge difference in my life.<br /><br />I can't swear that this will work for everyone, but everyone I've talked to has told me that get bad flashbacks too, and no one's ever told me of a way to deal with them. So I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">couldn't</span> keep this to myself. I hope it helps some!Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-78549021616724410422010-02-19T12:50:00.006-05:002010-02-19T14:54:31.027-05:00You Are Not a Gadget: A Manifesto by Jaron Lanier<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxfK_vcKFYe7Wi5rRQYtnfYdLTiInPMpq7ZN7JCNEq06txLt3R23XqaWoEQVBlOjroRZSR1OeN5V1Zbb3blDnXQcbuU9dzDQ5CTt6Yy_O6_gOCSC7kW8ajZYmNIpWqBIhaSBqOHEvsI57e/s1600-h/you-are-not-a-gadget.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxfK_vcKFYe7Wi5rRQYtnfYdLTiInPMpq7ZN7JCNEq06txLt3R23XqaWoEQVBlOjroRZSR1OeN5V1Zbb3blDnXQcbuU9dzDQ5CTt6Yy_O6_gOCSC7kW8ajZYmNIpWqBIhaSBqOHEvsI57e/s320/you-are-not-a-gadget.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440013831768336658" border="0" /></a>I saw this book on display at my local Barnes & Noble. I began flipping through it and had to sit down and read whole sections. From there I knew I couldn't stop until I'd read the whole book, so I bought it.<br /><br />Jaron Lanier talks about the lost potentials for the computers and the internet, and the even bigger consequence of how society at large and individual people are reshaping themselves to fit the internet. What makes his concerns carry so much weight and not come across as the ravings of an anti-technologist is that he's always been a forerunner in the world of computers, including the creator of Virtual Reality.<br /><br />What made it resonate with me is that he points out things that I've noticed, but hadn't known what the cause was. For example, Frank pointed out to me in the early 90's that every decade has had a creative boom resulting in a huge influx of new music in a brand new style-- the 80's had New Wave, 70's had Disco, 60's revolutionized Rock (nowadays referred to as "Classic Rock"), the 50's invented Rock & Roll (nowadays referred to as "Doo-Wop"), etc... and soon after he and I had that conversation, the music scene exploded with Alternative / Grunge. So I kept waiting for the musical revolution of the 2000s to hit. It never did, and I've always wondered why not.<br /><br />Here, Jaron Lanier observes the same thing, and he points out a connection I hadn't made-- that the decline of a revolution in new music coincides directly with the growth of the world wide web. He observes that the web has had the effect of flattening out the music world. Everything is now a mash-up of something that has come before. Everyone knows what an effect file-sharing sites have had on music sales, but I never made the connection of the effect that it's had on musical <span style="font-style: italic;">creativity</span>.<br /><br />(If I can extrapolate on my own about this for a moment, based on what I feel I learned from this book: the web has given us a great diversity in musical choices, so we don't need to stick to what the record companies feel we should be listening to. As a result of this and declining sales, the record companies are now afraid to take changes on what would would have been the 2000's equivelant of Nirvana or the Beatles. So they play it safe, giving us more of what they know sells. So there was no revolutionary sound of the '00s. And it will probably continue that way for the '10s if things don't change.)<br /><br />But it's not all doom-and-gloom; he also presents ideas on how to turn things around, and possibilities for the future. It's not that he hates the technology, but quite the reverse-- he feels the technology is capable of so much more. And that the most important part is that it remain a tool to elevate the human user.<br /><br />I won't pretend to say that I grasp everything he talks about. The concepts made sense to me, but I could tell I wasn't getting the full depth of everything he was saying. Still, it introduced me to such concepts as the noosphere (the "hive mind" of the internet that we put ourselves into) and the Singularity (the concept that we may be able to download our complete minds into the internet, achieving immortality). But I do feel it's opened my eyes up to what's happened as the real-world society and cyber-society have become more blended over the last 15 years, what's happening now, and where it could all go.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-83855563424850516772010-02-18T06:21:00.002-05:002010-02-18T06:24:38.059-05:00Dreaming in EmotionI wanted to post about my weird dreams last night, and realized that would be two weird dream posts in a row. Since reading about and/or listening to other people's dreams can be incredibly boring, I've decided to move them to their own blog, <a href="http://dreaminginemotion.blogspot.com">Dreaming in Emotion</a>. That way you can follow them if you actually find that kind of stuff interesting, or not notice them if you don't.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-79235639969716459962010-02-01T08:10:00.004-05:002010-02-01T08:44:58.224-05:00Beware What the Were-Woman WearsLast night I dreamt that I became a were-woman. When the moon was full, my body turned female and stayed that way day and night until the full moon ended. It took us completely by surprise and Joy was trying to come up with some clothes for me to wear, but the only thing she could find were some dresses that didn't really fit right and that I wasn't really comfortable wearing.<br /><br />So the next month we were more prepared, and had bought some nice women's shirts and slacks like they sell at <a href="http://www.pyramidcollection.com/">The Pyramid Collection</a> that I was much happier with. I also wondered if this would help my mother to cope with it, as she had been very disapproving of me being in a dress.<br /><br />I wonder if this was all because I shaved off my beard and people are calling me "ma'am" again?Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-21189201502224755182009-11-25T07:54:00.010-05:002009-11-25T13:55:39.629-05:00Politics vs. FanaticismI find videos like this both amusing and disturbing, but not necessarily for the reasons the makers of the video might have intended.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="258"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mKKKgua7wQk&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mKKKgua7wQk&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="258"></embed></object><br /><br />Let's get the obvious points and counter-points that the video brings up out of the way: That Sarah Palin's supporters are uneducated zombies who get their political opinions spoon fed to them by FOX News talking points; that Obama has just as many mindless supporters who are simply swayed by his elegant speaking; and that the makers of the video are obviously going to edit out any intelligent responses. (Points which the makers of the video address in the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKKKgua7wQk">"more info" section of their YouTube page</a>, if you're interested.)<br /><br />No, the thing that really gets me about this video are the points brought up from 3:23 through 4:10. Because a lot of these things are very similar to the things I was saying about Geroge W. Bush in 2005.<br /><br /><br />(1) "I think that [Sarah Palin] would acknowledge a system of government in the United States, rather than focus on an administration of czars."<br />"I'm an American. We don't have czars in America."<br /><br />Okay, I'll admit right off the bat that I'm a little hazy on the whole "czar" concept. Wikipedia describes it by saying "<span style="font-style: italic;">the title Czar (derived from Caesar) meant Emperor in the European medieval sense of the term, that is, a ruler who claims the same rank as a Roman emperor, with the approval of another emperor or a supreme ecclesiastical official (the Pope or the Ecumenical Patriarch)</span>"<br /><br />So what I think this woman is getting at is that Obama's the head Emperor and his cabinet are the Czar of the Interior, the Czar of Defense, the Czar of Education, etc. I'm not sure where this thinking comes from; they have no more power than the previous administration did, and have done nothing to indicate to me that they believe they're now appointed for life.<br /><br />Here's why this one reminded me of myself: Another thing we don't have in America is imperial dynasties. This is why I didn't want to vote for Hillary Clinton. After two Bushes and 1 Clinton already, setting up a second Clinton struck me too much as dynasty building. If Jeb Bush ever runs for president, will this woman not vote for him because it's reinforcing the Bush family dynasty? Or are unAmerican methods of government okay with her when it's her party doing it?<br /><br />Not the same as the czar comparison, because the Bushes all served sequential terms, whereas czars all rule at once, but if you're going to talk about the American government being run in an unAmerican governmental style, then the similarity between this woman's thoughts on the right and my thoughts on the left still hit home with me.<br /><br />(2) "The way I think the country is going, I'm wondering whether or not we're going to have a presidential election in 2012. I know there's some backroom talk of martial law."<br />"I'll give you one scenario that would absolutely do it: is if an atom bomb goes off in the United States."<br /><br />In 2005 I was sure that Bush was going to find a way to lift the term limits so he could get in for a third term. I also thought there was a chance he would do away with the 2008 election all together if a terrorist attack happened sometime that year. I didn't really believe it, but I thought the possibility was there.<br /><br />(3) "We're no longer an exceptional country. We're no longer the shining light, the beacon to the world of what a society should look to be as far as freedom."<br /><br />I definitely felt this way during the previous administration. Of course, there was the Patriot Act, the illegal wire tapping of American citizens, and Alberto Gonzales calling the Geneva Convention "quaint" and "obsolete." There was also a study at the time that said Canada was now looked at as the most free country in the world, as opposed to Obama being recently given the Nobel Peace Prize for simply <span style="font-style: italic;">not being Bush</span>.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />So, to sum it all up, we both had the exact same fears about two radically different presidents.<br /><br />What this all drives home to me is that Obama is not going to unite this country like I'd hoped. The people on the (far?) right are just as afraid of him as I was of Bush. What we're really going to need to bring this country back together in 2012 (well, 2016 hopefully) is a president who is moderate enough that neither side is going to feel threatened.<br /><br />But what I've been seeing in the country in general, and this video in specific, makes me wonder if both sides wouldn't simply be unable to accept such a candidate, with the left tearing them down any chance they got for being too conservative and the right doing the same because they feel he (or she) is too liberal.<br /><br />How much of this animosity from the right is a backlash effect from the animosity we on the left had for Bush? And more importantly, how much of both of them are coming from a blind dislike for the unlike? With FOX News and MSNBC both doing anything they can to tear down the parties they disagree with, people are not just opposed to the other party, they're <span style="font-style: italic;">afraid </span><span>of them</span><span style="font-style: italic;">. </span><span>I feel like we're becoming less of a country with different political parties and more of a country of different American <span style="font-style: italic;">factions</span>. The passion and fervor that both sides are displaying seems to be getting dangerous close to zeal and fanaticism.<br /><br /><br /></span>Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-81054207793737747232009-10-21T08:51:00.003-04:002009-10-21T08:52:34.241-04:00Why the Concept of Entropy Should be Important to 9-Year-Olds.<div class="UIComposer_InputArea_Base UIComposer_InputArea"><div class="UIComposer_InputShadow"><div style="width: 442px;" class="Mentions_Input" id="c4adf00eb3b6563cae3895_input" contenteditable="true">This morning I gave Mylene this big explanation of the concept of entropy, and what a wonderful feeling it is when your room is clean but that the forces of entropy cause it to always fall back into being messy. And I pointed out how amazing we are as living beings that we can actually fight back against this cosmic force that will eventually even cause the universe itself to fall apart. Unlike the inanimate objects of the universe we can rail against it, even if it's just in a small way, by keeping ourselves as healthy as we can, and by restoring our dirty rooms back to their previous state, and wasn't that amazing! "Does that make sense?" I asked. "Not really," she answered. "You're boring me."<br /><br />So I thought about that for a second. And I said, "Okay, how about this: CLEAN YOUR ROOM!"<br /><br />It turns out my kid prefers the direct approach to the wonders of the cosmos. Sigh.<br /><br /></div></div></div>Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-24946579519556548852009-10-18T11:49:00.005-04:002009-10-18T11:54:11.758-04:00Self-Brainwashing and Radical AcceptanceMy oldest buddy, who this week is going by "Mr. Stupid," posted this blog:<br /><br /><a href="http://paysonkimmel.blogspot.com/2009/10/true-or-untrue.html">True or Untrue?</a><br /><br />Here's my reply:<br /><br />For me the big "Wow, I could be brainwashed" moment was watching V for the first time. I knew that if a bunch of aliens showed up saying they were friendly and offering a "Visitor Youth" program, I'd have been the first in line to sign up! Would I be willing and able to see what was really going on, or would I have swallowed their explanations because it was what I wanted to see?<br /><br />I think we all have the power to brainwash ourselves. It's easy to see things how we think they <span style="font-style: italic;">should</span> be, and then categorize everything we see as either true or false based on that definition of "should." Then what we see that matches with "how things should be" reinforces our definition of true, and what we see that doesn't match reinforces our definition of untrue.<br /><br />I think that's a big part of why we, as a country, have become so politically divided-- between the pundits and the blogs and the biased news channels (FOX News and MSNBC, specifically) we all now have people appealling to that sense of "should."<br /><br />My DBT therapy says that "should" is a word that signifies a judgment. By saying "Well, they should know not to do that!" or "I shouldn't have to deal with that!" you're trying to fit the world into what you WANT it to be, and not accepting it for what it really is. And so when we listen to Rush Limbaugh or Al Frankin, they reinforce our shoulds or shouldn'ts, and we help brainwash ourselves because we've got them telling us we're right. (For the record, I won't listen to Air America or watch MSNBC for this very reason... I'm naturally liberal enough on my own, I don't want to have it reinforced!)<br /><br />DBT calls the answer to this "Radical Acceptance"-- being willing to see a situation for what it simply is or isn't, without our assigning values to what we feel it should or shouldn't be. It doesn't mean you're giving approval to it; you're refraining from approving or disapproving, and trying to see it simply for what it IS. From there you can make a more rational decision, rather than just reacting from your gut. I think it helps us to break through the self-brainwashing that we've been unconsciously doing to ourselves our entire lives.Ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1011745685233777350.post-9621351641321808392009-09-14T09:54:00.008-04:002009-09-14T10:31:40.834-04:00Banning the LightbulbSo, have you seen those goofy new twisty lightbulbs?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK9EONwQf667nVfzN0AjW5Coc4P2dNz5k7RWIS-DyYoQij21cLpgUceH-D2Ech2DGDGFx3Sj8q_HG-dg8lOQoGYNM3GLtzAm11JORgKLUXUxs32KmgKQ-57qK_zVFAE1HcWww38Tws-npK/s1600-h/cfl_light_bulb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 127px; height: 127px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK9EONwQf667nVfzN0AjW5Coc4P2dNz5k7RWIS-DyYoQij21cLpgUceH-D2Ech2DGDGFx3Sj8q_HG-dg8lOQoGYNM3GLtzAm11JORgKLUXUxs32KmgKQ-57qK_zVFAE1HcWww38Tws-npK/s200/cfl_light_bulb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5381322166923885874" border="0" /></a>I guess that's probably a dumb question by now, and the question's more of, have you started using those goofy new twisty lightbulbs yet?<br /><br />We have. We jumped on them right away when we heard you didn't have to change them as often. (It's not a laziness thing, it's more that we were constantly going through lightbulbs.) And hearing that they give off less greenhouse gases and thus reduce global warming makes them quite welcome in our house.<br /><br />They do have day-to-day down sides: they take a while to warm up. I'm afraid to put them in a lamp where the lampshade grips the bulb. And of course they mess up the "vanity mirror" look, so I still use regular old incandescent bulbs for those.<br /><br />Then I discovered I couldn't just throw them away because they have mercury in them. So now I save all of them in a box and drop them off at the county Hazardous Waste Household Collection Day... which is five hours once a year in September. This year's is next week (Sept. 22), and I have a lot of lightbulbs for them because I forgot about it last year.<br /><br />Now, I don't mind having a "burned out lightbulb" box in my closet, but I can see how a lot of people wouldn't know or just plain wouldn't be willing to go to the effort of having to drive somewhere to dump off their old lightbulbs once a year. So realistically speaking, I know a lot of these lightbulbs are just going to get thrown away, resulting in more mercury poisoning of the ground and water.<br /><br />So I have mixed feelings about this article I read today:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.dailyfinance.com/2009/09/11/backlash-over-light-bulb-ban-continues-to-build-in-europe/?icid=main%7Cwelcome%7Cdl3%7Clink7%7Chttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailyfinance.com%2F2009%2F09%2F11%2Fbacklash-over-light-bulb-ban-continues-to-build-in-europe%2F">Backlash Over Light-bulb Ban Continues to Build in Europe<br /></a><br />In case the link doesn't work, that's at:<br /><br />http://www.dailyfinance.com/2009/09/11/backlash-over-light-bulb-ban-continues-to-build-in-europe/?icid=main|welcome|dl3|link7|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailyfinance.com%2F2009%2F09%2F11%2Fbacklash-over-light-bulb-ban-continues-to-build-in-europe%2F<br /><br />Now on the one hand, I totally believe this change is necessary. The Earth is hitting its point-of-no-return thresholds, and we need to do something, and if this will help and you're just whining because you don't like change, well, you'll just have to deal.<br /><br />But on the flip side, the mercury poisoning risks are a serious issue. I hate to not give people credit and call for things to be dumbed down, but the basic truth is without a simple, convenient way to safely dispose of these, most people are just going to toss them in the trash when they go mandatory.<br /><br />And this is <span style="font-style: italic;">going </span>to be mandatory in the US starting in 2014. And I'm sure there will be lots of complaints of government interference and we have the right to use whatever bulb we want and the world's not really dying and blah blah blah. And I'm sure many people will jump on the mercury risk as why they don't want to use this bulb, but y'know, <span style="font-style: italic;"></span>I think a lot of these people are really just going to be more bent out of shape that their lightbulbs now look funny and cost more and that the change is being forced on them. Well guess what, <span style="font-style: italic;">the bottom line is something has to be done NOW</span>. That's going to mean some forced changes are necessary, and really, as long as we can all be responsible grown-ups and dispose of these correctly, this is a pretty painless change to have to make.<br /><br />Thankfully, it looks like people are starting to step up to provide national drop-off points to make it easier. Ikea, ACE Hardware and (most) True Value hardware stores are now accepting the burnt out CLF bulbs for recycling.<br /><br />And lastly, here's a link to the EPA's page on the subject, which has a link to where you can find a drop-off near you in all 50 states.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.epa.gov/epawaste/hazard/wastetypes/universal/lamps/index.htm">http://www.epa.gov/epawaste/hazard/wastetypes/universal/lamps/index.htm</a><br /><br />Or failing that, if you can get your bulbs to me by September 21, I'll drop them off myself! :PFerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01337054652593135759noreply@blogger.com3